A few weeks ago I saw a window of opportunity to try to climb a winter 14er with the boys. The plan was to take both boys but my oldest Finn wasn't feeling well the days leading up to it so it ended up just being Tiig. Tiig and I had tried Quandary Peak last year in January but strong winds turned us around before the summit. The weather looked to be perfect and instead of sleeping out overnight before the hike, we decided to sleep in our own beds and wake up early to head up to the trail head by sunrise. The alarm went off at 3am and Tiig and I were on the road by 330am. We made it to the trail head just as the sun was rising. Tiig's pack contained just water and safety gear for winter hiking. My pack carried everything else so it was a bit heavy. Learning our lesson from a few weeks prior on Mt. Shavano we brought snowshoes and microspikes so snow conditions wouldn't turn us around.
The east slope of Quandary Peak.
The initial hike went very well. There were few on the trail since it was a week day so we enjoyed hiking and talking to each other. The trail head starts at 10,850ft and the peak is 14,265ft. I could tell that the weather was going to be perfect. Just a slight breeze and no clouds. As we started I was brimming with excitement at the thought of getting one of my boys to the top of a 14er in the winter. As the hike continued Tiig was getting tired. I began to take more and more gear from him as we gained elevation. We had plenty of time so we took it nice and slow. As we neared 11,500ft Tiig was really starting to slow down. My hope was that once we reached treeline around 12,000ft he would receive a burst of energy like he did on Shavano so if I could just get him to that point we would be set. Right at treeline Tiig was really struggling. I suggested that we place all of his gear in my pack and then leave his pack in the trees so that he would be as light as possible. This was perfect! He was really moving at this point.
We passed treeline and kept on moving. We reached the flat part and took a break and talked about our excitement of reaching the summit in the winter. As we looked up the ridge we could see the summit. It was early in the day and we were moving along pretty good. As we continued to gain elevation Tiig was growing increasingly tired and his feet were cold. We stopped again, this time to put foot warmers inside his boots. Continued hiking. There was a light breeze and my mind was only on one thing...I was going to get my first son up a winter 14er.
Tiig looking hardcore just above 12k
First view of the summit.
As we hike I have a simple system with the boys. I allow them to talk about how tired they are but then I ask them how they are feeling 1 out of 10. 1 being we will make it to the top and back no problem. 10 being we need to turn around immediately because they are miserable. As we reached treeline I asked Tiig and he said he was an 8. That wasn't so bad. As we continued up the ridge, he told me that he was absolutely exhausted. I asked him where he was and he said 9. I got frustrated. I shouldn't have. But I did. I couldn't understand why he wasn't full of excitement for such a beautiful day. I pushed him on.
We made it to 12,684ft and Tiig was struggling again. I urged him on to just the next false summit then we could turn around. He stopped and threw himself on the ground. I asked him where he was and he said 11 out of 10. Then he started to cry. I asked him why he was crying and he said that it was all his fault that we weren't going to make it to the top and that he was horrible. At that moment, I felt like the worst parent in the world. I was "that parent" who screams at their kid from the sideline that they aren't good enough. Here I was at 12,864ft with my 8 year old son in the dead of winter. Most kids his age wouldn't even think of waking up at 3am to put on layers of gear, a heavy pack and safety gear to hike with snowshoes or microspikes in the snow. This kid was awesome and I didn't even let him know! I was so focused on what I wanted that I lost sight of the goal, which is always to make it back to the car safely and have a fun time. It's not about the summit!
Our turnaround point.
I learned a lot that day. I showered him with praises as we descended, rather quickly, back to the car. We made it back down to the car just 6 hours after we started. Sometimes as a parent you have to really think about why you are pushing your children. Is it because you think it would be great for them? Or so you can tell others about them? Or do you push them so they can achieve goals on their own? In any case, you have to be sure that your goals and their goals are in line. We will try hiking in the winter again someday but only when they are ready. I want it to be their goal, not mine. Until that time, we will opt for the summer hikes when the gear is considerably less and there are less challenges for us to reach the top.
Cruising down the mountain.
Back at treeline.
As we hike I have a simple system with the boys. I allow them to talk about how tired they are but then I ask them how they are feeling 1 out of 10. 1 being we will make it to the top and back no problem. 10 being we need to turn around immediately because they are miserable. As we reached treeline I asked Tiig and he said he was an 8. That wasn't so bad. As we continued up the ridge, he told me that he was absolutely exhausted. I asked him where he was and he said 9. I got frustrated. I shouldn't have. But I did. I couldn't understand why he wasn't full of excitement for such a beautiful day. I pushed him on.
